A couple of weeks ago I came across a post from the singer/dancer Ciara. Under the post, several people commented on how beautiful she is and many agreed. Then, one person turned the convo by comparing her to Beyonce….
From there, people began to argue sbout which of these beautiful black women was “better” based solely on their physical appearance. Ciara has a better body, Beyonce has a softer face, Ciara has a model’s figure, Beyonce has greater sex appeal….
They went on and on.
But why was this necessary?
Why was it even brought up?
We have a sexist habit of reducing women to nothing more than sum of their appearance. She can be brilliant, creative and a jack of all trades in terms of skill, STILL we will reduce her to what/who she wears, how well she “beats her face” and how “thick” she is [or is not].
Why do we do this? Why must we [girls & women] be compared and ranked like show ponies or champion dogs?
We can find a number of places/programs that are specifically dedicated to judging women based on their appearance; there are also numerous women who willingly sign up to be judged in this way – and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem comes when we turn the entire world and/or internet into a beauty pageant and cast all women as contestants, even if they haven’t signed up to compete.
Women are not creative works left here to be judged and ranked according to their visual appeal. Believe it or not some of us want to be known for our intelligence, wit, creativity, skill, or otherwise. Whether or not we be deemed beautiful is beside the point.
I am not saying there’s anything wrong with acknowledging a woman’s beauty – respectfully. I am saying there’s something wrong when you objectify women by comparing them to each other to determine their value based solely on how they look.
It is not neccessary to cast one woman down to see another lifted up; nor does beauty of one woman cause the beauty of another to fade.
It is this way because WE (all of us) make it so.
Let’s make a resolve for 2019 and beyond:
STOP comparing women!
This is NOT a global beauty pageant!
I didn’t sign up. I refuse to judge. I refuse to compete. #IRefuse #AintCompeting #OptOut
There’s more than enough darkness for all of us to shine. Don’t go dim [expose your insecurities by hating] trying to put out [hate on] someone else’s shine [success, beauty, happiness, etc.]. That 💩 ain’t cute. No matter how gorgeous you [think you] might be. Selah.
– Trista Daniell