Your highs and lows are just that – yours.
People will celebrate with you, for a moment.
People will mourn with you, for a second.
But, quickly, they’ll move on….and they’ll hope you do too…(or atleast shut up talking about it).
Don’t take it personal. Such is life.
Most of us don’t have the bandwidth to invest that much care into other peoples lives for more than ten minutes. And that’s ok. We need to meet people where they are and stop expecting people to give things they don’t have the propensity to give. That doesn’t make those who cannot monsters, it just means that’s not their specific strength in life. Love them anyway (that doesn’t mean romantically, fyi).
Many are not interested in being emotionally involved in your life’s highs and lows…it’s hard enough carrying their own. Sometimes your joy or pain is too much to see….your pain brings up their pain, and your joy brings up their lack thereof.
It may be one of the reasons most spiritual teachers speak against “boasting” and “complaining” – eventually, people become annoyed with both and just want you to shut up. Even the most well meaning, who may never say it.
So, I’ve learned the art of self reflection and retreating within when I’m enduring hardship and I’m beginning to learn the art of celebrating myself and my own accomplishments in the midst of my joys.
Most people aren’t looking to listen, they’re looking for someone to listen to them. And that’s ok too.
Wouldn’t it be great if we lived in a world where people were honest enough to tell you, “look, I just don’t care and don’t want to hear about it anymore?” It might sting for a moment, but it’ll be freeing once you get over the shock…because then, you know how to move with them going forward.
Just be honest with folk. “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with your situation right now” or “I don’t care…I’m sorry, I love you as a person, but I’m tired of hearing about this…”
I know most cannot handle that level of honesty, but I prefer it. My hurt feelings last for a moment, but my resilience is legendary. #TristaDaniell #BlackWriters