Once during self reflection, I was tasked with the question, “Who are you really upset with?” …after hesitation, I realized the root of the anger was towards myself. The reason is not important, but the outcome was like a healing balm to my soul. I was trapped in anger…that I was directing towards others out of avoidance of dealing with (and accepting responsibility for) the actions of self. I was carrying guilt, shame, and anger towards myself and it manifested in my thought process and the way I viewed and interacted with others. This made it extremely difficult to see and deal with others from a place of love. I had to acknowledge my own offenses towards self and move into a place of forgiveness. I’m still working on this….some days are better than others lol.
Have you ever forgiven yourself? Do you even realize it is necessary? It is. We hurt when we make decisions that hurt us….most of us don’t immediately confess this pain because we see pain- especially emotional – as a weakness. Instead of acknowledging, we deny. That pain turns into guilt, shame, anger, denial…it hardens our hearts like stone and makes it impossible for anything.. or anyone…to penetrate. The only one who can even begin to chisel away the heaviness is you…bit by bit….step by step…moment by moment….heartache by heartache….
It starts with your own acknowledgement of your personal offenses – for the times in which you “knew better” but didn’t “do better” or moments you were warned but didn’t listen….for allowing yourself to settle for less than you’re worth, for not recognizing your value…your beauty…your worth.
Man, you’re amazing…don’t you know it? We say we know it, but we often don’t. Guilt and shame tell us otherwise….because we allow that voice room in our head like it owns the building. It don’t though….identify your personal offenses and begin the process of forgiveness towards yourself….do it today. – Trista Daniell