Rape. A Survivor’s Story.

Do you know what it is to be penetrated without permission?
How it feels to have someone invade your space and take a taste
of your most intimate place
against your wishes?

She does.

Wishes,
Wishes,
Oh how she wishes…

Wishes she hadn’t worn that…
Wishes she hadn’t said that….
Wishes she hadn’t smiled like that...

She wishes in vain.

She bears a broken heart
She asks God,

WHY?

No answers
No reasons
Just remnants of DNA
unloaded on bruised thighs

Death.

She showers with her mouth open
Silencing her screams
Swallowing emotions
Digesting her pain

She says nothing
But internalizes the violence
Inflicted upon her

Her mind rages
Her heart is numb
Flashbacks come
And she feels violated again

...and again.

…and again.

“Does it end?”

She asks,
tears in her eyes.
Blades pressed in her skin.
Toxins prescribed,

to ease the sufferin’

But,
pain has a way of inviting itself in ….
at the most unexpected moments.

Twisting her pleasure
Taunting her with her pain
Fuckin’ up the sensors all over her brain
She shouts in vain!

While everyone hears
But no one listens

“What were you doing out that late?”

“What did you wear?”

“Were you drinking?”

“Were you smoking?”

“Why’d you wear these fancy underwear?”

Survivors blamed

Character defamed
Rape becomes a stain
Women impregnated with shame.

Do you understand?
Can you even comprehend?
Even when she “gets over it”
It haunts her within.

She prays you never know
The vileness of a man
who smiles with you in family photos
or pretends to be a friend
before committing against you
A most grievous sin….

Should you speak?
Should you not?
Will they believe you?
Or think it a plot?

Anguish.

It’s all so easy to deny
Until it’s your anus being forced to comply
Until it’s your body being forced to receive
A seed from a man
You never wanted to conceive…

Rape.
A survivor’s story.
-Trista Daniell

8 thoughts on “Rape. A Survivor’s Story.

    • Trista Daniell says:

      I hate that it hit home for you, it does for way too many of us – but I am so glad it touched you in some way. Thank you so much for taking the time to explore my blog! I greatly appreciate the love!!

      Like

      • Trista Daniell says:

        Thank God she had a friend like you! So many of us don’t have that support and it is vital to recovering and moving forward with your life. I hope your friend is reclaiming her joy, security (what little we can have in this world), and peace in her life. Thank you for being there for her 💓

        Like

      • Trista Daniell says:

        Thankfully I’ve since grown and done the work to be able to move forward and help others (and I have a network of sisterfriends who support) but there are always moments – all survivors have their moments – I’m thankful for God’s strength and help through it all and I am thankful for the prayers. Many blessings to you and your friend.

        Like

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