When Heteros Judge….Parade Edition

So this came cross my newsfeed this morning….with its usual negative comments from self righteous heteros šŸ˜’:

pride parade, gay pride

I don’t know the poster…but an associate shared this and it appeared in my timeline and of course….I gotta step in and speak my peace (which I did on her post). Sharing here too because others need to read this:

As a lesbian woman I don’t agree with taking your kids to these parades because SOME PEOPLE take it too far…BUT THAT IS NOT ALL OF US.

I feel the same way when I see photos of kids at Carnival and the West Indian Parade (google it) where women are naked as hell and twerking and all sorts of inappropriate stuff…..EVEN THE KIDS ARE DRESSED IN SCANTILY CLAD OUTFITS – particularly the little girls….hell I’ve seen photos of kids at biker events….all inappropriate. I mean let’s be honest we can pull unflattering photos of any community to say “LOOK AT WHAT THESE HORRIBLE PEOPLE ARE DOING…WE ARE SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT” but we prefer to sit in judgement on the lgbt community because well it makes everyone seem a lot more “holy” (because everyone knows us gays are the worst of the worst *sarcastic laugh*)…but that’s beside the point.

the point is…sexualizing children is something that’s done in the heterosexual community everyday without question or concern. All I heard growing up was how I had to do xyz to “get a man”….and how I wouldn’t “get a man” because i was too fat, my hair too frizzy, i read too much and didn’t cook enough, I didn’t dust right….blah blah blah everything about being a woman was about growing up to one day procreate and get a husband- even if that’s not what you wanted!….

I still remember church women commenting on how I got “baby making hips” when I’m still in middle school…pointing out how large my chest is and demanding I stuff myself into flesh constricting garments because Lord forbid a boy or man see a curve and get turned on…and if they did it was your fault.
we all know they (men/boys) can’t control themselves so it’s all on girls.

THAT not only made me feel sexualized as a child, but also ashamed of my body, and responsible for the rape of my body.

I’m a survivor of child rape…so I am ALL for protecting our children and talking about the epidemic of sexualizing (and raping) children – especially in our (the Black) community- but if we are going to talk about it we should have an HONEST conversation.

the reality is data shows kids aren’t any more likely to turn out gay because they are around gay people or have gay parents than they would be if they were never exposed. It also shows kids are less likely to be molested/raped by members of the gay and lesbian community, yet straight folk stay trying to make us predators…meanwhile I can’t get black folk to hold a single convo about deacons and ministers long history of raping young girls in the church….or hell forget the church…IN THE FAMILY! THEN…to add insult to injury the girl has to grow up seeing her rapist at family functions and the likes…as she carries the blame for “being fast” or “being alone with him” or “not saying anything when it happened”….or whatever other reason families think up to prevent the male from getting in trouble….but we’re not supposed to mention that, huh?

I didn’t even know lesbian women existed when I was growing up so they absolutely didn’t “influence” me into being with women. Never went to an LGBT parade. Never watched LGBT programming. ALL I SAW was hetero relationships and yet, here I am. And I’m adopted, and I have a gay biological sibling, and we were raised in two different environments….sooo…yea….

while I personally wouldn’t take my child to this I stop short at saying this alone will sexualize a child in a world filled with heteroSEXusal arousal all day long…..from commericals to billboards to magazine adds…I mean in the store we see magazine covers of scantily clad hetero couples in embrace…kiss…etc. My son walked in my room last night while a condom commerical was playing and a man and a woman were basically dry humping on a table….we don’t talk about how that sexualizes kids and teens (teens who are much more likely to act on it).

Heteros do PDA often….I don’t want my four year old seeing that and thinking that’s the purpose of male/female relationships…I want him to learn to respect women as equal counterparts who are intelligent and capable…I don’t want him associating women with sex before he’s even old enough to develop friendships.

Adults often sexualize kids when children of opposite genders become friends and the parents automatically add the labels “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” when they’re just three and four….but no one ever calls heteros out on this type of sexualizing. becuse it’s not REALLY about sexualizing kids…but about making sure these kids are sexualized according to heteronormative standards…i.e. make sure the kids are not GAY. Double Standard.

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