You ever been in one of those places where you have no idea what God is doing in your life right now? And everything you want to happen, doesn’t, while everything you don’t want, does? Some days it’s easy to remember how much God loves you, other days I wonder if God even likes me right now lol (I’m sure Job and David felt this often). I guess this is my “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” moment…a “Job” experience….and the answer to all the prayers I prayed to teach me to rely on YHVH and YHVH alone.
Still, knowing this doesn’t make it feel any better; and, it certainly doesn’t make me any happier right now. However, I’ve learned a valuable lesson:
Ultimate trust in God comes when you have every reason to give up hope and walk away, but you don’t.
There is an end to this hurricane that’s disrupted my life, and it is near. I will receive a double portion of peace for every moment of peace I’ve lost in the midst of turmoil.
To know YHVH – truly – is to know suffering. People of faith are often afraid to talk about these feelings, but the walk with God isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and no you don’t always feel like giving praise when you’re receiving the opposite of everything you’ve prayed for. And that’s ok. Even Christ went through moments of anguish, David wondered where God was and dealt with depression, and Moses grew frustrated and angry….it happens, and God is strong enough to handle those feelings too.
BUT! I think the ultimate show of faith is remaining a willing servant, and being determined to hold onto your faith despite it all….even if you’re holding on by the skin of your teeth. Don’t. Let. Go.
Redemption lingers, but it’ll come sooner than you think.