It’d been seven-and-a-half months since I made up with Sidney. Things weren’t going well with her and Monica – at all – and finding out she and Tanya were having sex didn’t make things any better. Speaking of Tanya, I hadn’t seen much of her since she returned my key after she abandoned me for a marathon sex session with Monica. She returned to my house the next day with some lame excuse about getting caught up with work. I found it odd she’d lie to me since I knew where she really was, but I didn’t pry. She wasn’t my business.
We chatted by phone and over messenger a few times, until she found out I’d taken Sidney back after all. I tried to explain why, but she shut down and told me it “wasn’t her business”. She kept her distance after that, but told me I could call her if I ever needed her. I deleted her number.
With Sidney, abandonment wasn’t an option. I’d grown to love her, and it’s my belief that love shows up when it’s needed the most. Right now, she needed me and I was going to be there. I told her I loved her and promised to see her through this –on the condition that she got help. Immediate help.
Two steps ahead of me, she’d already scheduled an appointment to see a therapist. I asked if she needed medication to help her stabilize, but she said no. She told me she’d been down that road before, and didn’t like the way it made her feel.
“They dope you up with a bunch of pills and don’t even know if they work. I refuse to be anyone’s lab rat. I’ll stick with my own medication, it works just fine.”
She was referring to her pension for smoking weed. She said it was the only thing that worked. It helped ease her mind, elevate her mood, and function in her day-to-day life. She was a huge advocate for the benefits of medical marijuana for all types of ailments. She’d even invested in the medical marijuana market and was talking about expanding into the legal recreational market, soon. Sidney, was an excellent business woman, I loved that about her.
I looked at the clock on the wall for a time check, it was 6:17 PM, Sidney would be here to pick me up at 7:00…I didn’t have much time. I rushed around the room like a madwoman trying to get myself ready. She told me to dress ‘jeans and t-shirt’ casual, so I threw on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and black tank top that read, “Flawed and Fabulous”.
After a fifteen minute struggle to secure my braids in a bun, I finished applying my eye-shadow as Sidney ring the doorbell. I ran to the door like a teenager in love.
“Hi baby!” I smiled brightly and planted a kiss on her lips. She returned the smile.
“Yep, just let me grab my purse and turn off the lights.”
We climbed into my white Jaguar she’d and she chauffeured me 45 minutes across town. I didn’t bother to ask where we were going.
“So..” I spoke as I applied my lipstick, “…how’s Monica?”
She smiled and grabbed my left hand with her right, “I don’t want to talk about her. I’m with you.” She briefly looked in my direction before returning her eyes to the road, I caught a glimpse of fire in her eyes. The kind I wanted to explore in the nude.
I smiled and said nothing as I fiddled with my phone, trying to connect my Napster to the stereo. I flicked through my playlist until I came across my “Mood” Mix. I purposely selected ‘Feel It’ by Jacquees – a form of innocent seduction towards a woman I couldn’t have, yet didn’t mind seducing. The chase was one of the most thrilling parts, after all. I turned the volume up and began to sway my body in the seat. I sang along,
“I’m gone make you feel it…..” I rolled my neck and snapped my fingers.
“You feeling that huh?” She asked as we sat in the turning lane waiting on the light to change.
“I could be feeling something else…but…you know…” I teased. She grinned and moved her hand to my up my thigh, giving it a light squeeze.
“Don’t tempt the Scorpio…” She winked and made a left turn. Sidney understood exactly where my mind was. The sexual tension was thick, but we’d still not had sex. I refused to have sex with a woman I wasn’t committed to…and by committed, I mean long term relationship.
We rode a few moments in silence…the song changed. “…baby tell me what you want me to do to you…say it…say it….sayyyyy itttttt…..” Ne-yo’s voice taunted from the radio. I crossed my legs and put my head on the leather headrest, my eyes directed toward the stars in the sky. Her hand was still on my thigh, I wanted her to move it up. My mind roamed.
“Can you turn that down for a second?” Sidney asked as we turned into a gated estate. This didn’t look like the type of community where it’d be a good idea to ride through blasting music – of any kind – but especially not R&B.
We stopped at a security booth where they took both our licenses, her license plate, a photo of the car, and both our numbers before allowing us in. I thought it a little excessive and wondered if they did so because we were black. She laughed and told me to chill out, “this community is primarily made up of well to do African American and Latino families. If anyone’s getting profiled here, it’s not because of your race…it’s because of your income.”
Once through, I understood why. The neighborhood was immaculate. Perfectly manicured lawns. Expensive cars. As we pulled in I noticed a sign that said houses started at $400,000. Whoever we were going to visit was certainly doing well for themselves.
“This is a beautiful neighborhood!” I exclaimed as we passed through. I turned the music back on, but lowered the volume, slightly.
“I’m glad you like it.”
Sidney made a right, a left, and another right before pulling into a two-story brick home near the end of a dead-end street. She parked and turned off the vehicle. She turned to me with a mischievous grin.
She disappeared into the home for a few moments as I surveyed the neighborhood. A petite Asian woman with dark hair jogged by, she waved at a young African American woman who’d just pulled in next door. The woman waved back as she stepped out of her BMW, and two smiling kids tumbled out the front door screaming, “Mommy” with an attractive Black man following behind. They embraced and kissed, the kind of kiss that said they missed each other. “Ewwwww dad!!!” The little boy exclaimed. They all laughed. I laughed too. The black family unit was a beautiful thing, in all forms.
Sidney returned to the car and opened my door. She waved at the family next door and reminded the guy about a poker game next Tuesday. He confirmed his plans to attend and asked if he needed to bring anything.
“Na, I don’t think it fair to whip your ass and make you bring something.” She joked before we headed in the house.
“That’s my cousin, Ant. Short for Antony. My aunt MeMe’s only child. He’s a good kid, an architect, a family man. I’m proud of him.” Pride decorated her face.
She led me into a foyer decorated in comforting shades of tan and cream. A chandelier gleamed above my head. The house was spotless, it really did look like I could eat off the marble floors beneath my feet. An invigorating smell wafted past my nose.
“Well…well…it’s about time I get to meet you.” An older androgynous woman walked up the hallway. She sported a long black mane that fell around her shoulders and dimples in both cheeks. I guessed she couldn’t have been more than 45. “Sindey’s always talking about you…” she smiled and rubbed her hands on an apron that read, “Kiss the Chef!” before extending one towards me to shake my hand.
“I’m Sidney’s aunt. Everyone calls me MeMe. You can call me Auntie.” She winked at Sidney, who gave her a look that said more than I understood.
“Oh, very nice to meet you Aunt MeMe! I’ve heard so much…” I cut my sentence short. I really didn’t want to get into what I’d heard. This woman certainly didn’t look like what she’d been through. We headed into a large living room area, where I met another aunt, Latecia, MeMe’s wife.
We exchanged pleasantries in the living area as a server appeared with four glasses of wine. Sidney and MeMe discussed the upcoming poker game and mentioned something about needing to take a trip to Miami to deal with some business that had unexpectedly come up. Mid-way through the topic, Latecia placed her hand on MeMe’s knee and smiled sweetly.
“Darling,” her voice was melodic, “it’s not polite to talk business in front of guests.” MeMe nodded and apologized for her rudeness. She excused herself to check on the food, Sidney joined.
“They’re just going to talk business in another room,” Latecia spoke with an English accent. I learned she was from Manchester. She’d moved to America after she and MeMe got engaged about three years ago, they made it official last year.
“I’m surprised that wife of hers isn’t lurking around somewhere. I don’t know how Sidney put up with the foolishness of their relationship. It annoys me.” She frowned and ran her fingers through her highlighted weave. “It’s lesbians like Monica who make people think we’re all sex crazed monsters, only led by emotions.” She frowned in disgust.
“Now, now, baby.” MeMe and Sidney returned with fresh glasses of wine. “Be nice.”
Latecia’s light skin flushed red. You could tell she’d said something she hadn’t meant anyone else to hear. I eyed Sidney who shrugged it off. “It’s fine.”
We headed to the dining room where we were served a soul food platter of fried chicken, mustard greens, sweet potatoes, and cornbread. I wasn’t very hungry, but didn’t want to be rude, so I took a few chicken wings and some greens.
“I fried that batch extra crispy for you, Sidney said that’s how you like it.” I appreciated the extra effort on her part. The food was even better than it smelled.
We dined to a mix of Neo-Soul and R&B. The conversation was casual, we talked about our careers and Sidney provided updates on her kids. Brax (short for Braxton) was accepted into an advanced learning program, and their daughter, Aaliyah, placed first in a dance competition which made her eligible for nationals. After about forty minutes of pleasantries, MeMe started to pry.
Who were my people? Where were my parents? Where did I grow up? How long since my last relationship? Why was I single? Any kids? Ex-husbands? Crazy baby-daddies? Ex-girlfriends? When she asked how long I’d been gay and insinuated I “looked like” the “type” who would “need a man from time to time” I became offended. Sidney stepped to my defense.
“MeMe, you’re getting a bit personal…and rude. I brought her here to meet you, not for you to scare her away.” I took a long sip of wine. A server appeared almost instantly to refill my glass.
“Well I need to know her. The last woman you brought home turned out to be a complete bitch…and a whore.” She put her fork on top of her plate and dabbed her mouth with a cloth napkin before sitting it down. “I’m glad you’re finally getting rid of Monica. Maybe you can finally have some happiness in your life —“
Latecia nodded, “Lord knows you deserve it, honey.” She threw a sympathetic look towards Sidney, who looked away. I’d learned early on she didn’t like to be pitied.
“What do they mean you’re getting rid of Monica?” I asked Sidney, confused. Was that the reason she hadn’t said anything when I tried to talk to her about Monica earlier that day?
“MeMe!” Sidney cut her eyes and her aunt stopped speaking.
“What?” MeMe contorted, looking between me and Sidney, “Oh…wait, don’t tell me you haven’t said anything yet?”
“Not exactly. I was planning on doing that a little later… after dessert…”
“I’m sorry,” I interrupted, “But I don’t like being the topic of conversation when I don’t even know what’s going on.”
MeMe shook her head in disapproval. “You need to handle your business, niece. Do it…now.”
Sidney sighed. Latecia playfully popped MeMe’s arm, “See what you’ve done. You’re ruining the surprise…we should go.” MeMe agreed and called for the servers who immediately began cleaning the dining area. We all headed towards the foyer where MeMe pulled coats out the small closet by the front door.
“It was so nice meeting you, Jameka. You’re delightful, truly.” Latecia gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. She offered to exchange numbers so we could go out for drinks sometime. I wasn’t in the market for new friends, but I accepted her number anyway – I didn’t want to seem rude.
We stood on the porch as they walked the few steps to their home, which was one door away from Antony’s home.
“Wait a minute…if they live there, whose house is this?” I asked Sidney still staring down the sidewalk even though they’d already gone inside.
“Come on…we need to talk.” Sidney ushered me in the house and locked the door.
She led me through the foyer, past the living room and into the backyard. I could hear Tyrese’s, ‘On Top of Me’ playing, but I didn’t see a stereo. The bushes must’ve been wired with a sound system.
My feet stepped into the grass. It was cool and damp, but the earth felt good beneath my toes. I noticed a large blanket on the grass, surrounded by pillows of all sizes. A chilled bottle of dessert wine sat in the middle of a blanket along with a variety of fruit, chocolate, and caramel dipping sauces. Sidney grabbed two light throws from one of the chairs and joined me on the blanket.
She scratched her head, “This? It’s nothing, really.” She rebuffed my compliment. “But, that’s what I love about you, you appreciate the simple things. I buy you a Jaguar and you barely blink. Yet, your eyes light up at a blanket in the backyard.” She beamed, “It makes me want to give you the world.”
I blushed. “So, what was all that back there…what did she mean you’re leaving Monica?”
Sidney sighed heavily and sipped her drink before she spoke, “You heard it right, I’m divorcing Monica.”
OH! MY! GOD! YES!!!! My mind was giddy, but my mouth said, “WHAT? Why would you…I mean, I understand why…but after all this time? Why now?” I kept my voice steady and purposely narrowed my eyes so my concern seemed sincere.
“Do you know why Monica married me?”
“…because she loves you, I hope…” Sidney laughed.
“Monica’s never loved me. She loved my love for her. She loved my generous heart and my willingness to bend over backwards to accommodate her wants and needs.”
“If you knew this, why did you stick around?”
She poked out her lips and raised her eyebrows searching for an answer, “I loved her, truly – I did. I hoped she’d grow to love me too.” She paused in thought for a moment, “I knew when she married me she only did it to piss off Tanya. She doesn’t know I know it, but she hired a private investigator to find Tanya shortly before we were married. She wanted to see if they could work it out. The night before our wedding, she spent it with her.”
This wasn’t the story Tanya told.
“They started up their affair not even two months after we got married.” A light breeze tickled my shoulders, I grabbed one of the throws and wrapped it around my shoulders. “…and when I found out, I gave Monica an ultimatum. She chose me. Or so I thought.”
I could tell her mind was back in the moment, she spoke of it with agony in her eyes, like the pain was still fresh.
“How did that,” I pointed my finger at nothing, “… get to this…?”
“Monica left her alone long enough for me to think it was done. She had Aaliyah – a surprise by the way, but that’s another story for another day,” she rolled her eyes. “…and she was pregnant with Braxton when I found out she was messing around with Tanya again.”
I couldn’t wait to hear that ‘other story’ on ‘another day’. “Why didn’t you just leave?”
“For one, I didn’t sign a prenup. When we got married, I didn’t have anything – she was footing the bill, I didn’t think I’d ever need one. But now that the tables have turned…I wish I had. Monica is the type of woman who’d try to clean me out, and take the kids out of spite. Divorce would be a sport to her.” She put her arms behind her and sat back. I grabbed strawberry and dipped it in chocolate.
“Plus,” she talked on, “I love my kids…I wanted them to have the childhood I didn’t – a stable family, a happy house. Parents who love and cherish each other. I didn’t want them to grow up in a broken home…but I’ve since learned, you don’t have to get divorced to have a broken home.”
I picked up my glass and realized it was empty. She handed me hers.
“I know it sounds like a cliché reason not to leave, but, it’s true.”
“No, it’s not…” I assured her, “…but why would Monica need your money? Isn’t her family well off?”
Sidney gave me a look of surprise and burst out laughing. It was good to see her smile, the mood lightened.
“Monica’s broke. Her parents have money, but she’s terrible with it. I mean crap. The kind of woman who’d buy bundles and bags when the light bill is three months past due and up for disconnect. If I give that woman $15,000 in a month, she’ll find a way to spend $15,001. Daddy got tired of footing the bill for her…and she refuses to work …she’s completely financially dependent on me.”
“Damn….” I’d done that once in my life and found myself on the street because of it, vowed that’d never happen again.
“Damn is right. And I’m sick of it. I agreed to her relationship with Tanya only if there was no sex involved. I tried to understand the history and the friendship, but it honestly never sat right with me.” She eyed me and grinned.
“Then I saw you.”
“Huh?” I choked on the pineapple I was chewing. Wasn’t expecting that.
“You’re amazing, Jameka.” She stared intently now. Desire lingered in her eyes. She put her hand on my face.
“The day I met you at Tionne’s party, I became intrigued. You might not remember, but you read some of your work there and I inquired about your blog. We talked most of the evening. You gave me a card…I stayed up all night reading your work…going through your pages.”
Tionne was my best friend Dionne’s twin sister. She was a Public Relations consultant who ran in some well to do circles in New York and L.A. She also happened to be one of the few Black lesbians who had the kinds of connections that allowed her to throw over the top lesbian-only events. A few years back, I attended one of her networking parties and bumped into Sidney at the buffet table. I dropped my plate all over her pants and she told me I could make it up to her by giving her a dance. We talked the rest of the evening, but she never asked for my number, and I didn’t bother to force it on her.
“You know I bumped into you on purpose, right?”
I laughed and brushed her off, “Stop trying to flatter me.”
“No, seriously. I did. Then remember shortly thereafter I friended you on Facebook and hit you in the inbox with some silly ass question about childcare services?”
She was right, I’d mentioned I used to be a teacher and she’d reached out asking me if I could recommend a few good schools in the area for her children. It was a simple enough request for me, I genuinely didn’t think anything of it.
“Yea, I thought you really needed the advice.”
“I didn’t need the advice, Jameka.” She smiled at my naivety, “By that time, I had people for that. I just wanted to see if you’d…give me some kind of sign you were, you know…interested.”
“Why didn’t you just say something?”
“…and look like the bad guy? You wouldn’t have understood what was going on in my marriage and I’m certain you wouldn’t have cared.”
“I mean…maybe if you’d just told me you needed a friend…I have plenty of dominant women who are married and they’re my friends.”
“I didn’t know that. For all I knew you’d take it the wrong way. When I’d see you around town, you were always nice enough that I thought you might be interested, but never so much that I could be sure.”
“But… I thought Monica said she picked me?”
“Monica THINKS she picked you. I planted the idea and watered it, then I put you in her face.”
“So… what finally gave you the courage to-“
“Don’t worry about that” she put her finger over my lips, “Just be glad that I did.” She sounded like Tanya.
“But, enough about Monica; that’s not why I brought you here.” She looked around, patting the blanket before lifting it to find nothing. “Give me a sec,” She disappeared into the house and returned briefly with another bottle of wine and a manila envelope. She refilled my glass and handed the envelope to me.
I scrunched my nose and took the envelope from her hand. “What is this, Sidney?”
“Why do people ask that when someone tells them to open something? – Open it and find out!” She laughed and folded her arms in anticipation.
I pulled up the metal prongs and pulled out a stack of papers. It was paperwork…for the purchase of a new home…3209 Suello Street….deeded to Jameka T. Roberts. Behind it was a copy of the divorce papers Sidney had drawn up for Monica. I sat with my mouth open.
“Sidney what is…what’s 3209 Suello…and why…why is it in my name?” I stumbled over my words trying to digest what I was reading. It was one thing for her to say she was getting a divorce, but to see the paperwork…and a house? She bought me a house?!
“I want you to know that I’m serious when I tell you I want you to make a home with me here…”
“Excuse me, WHAT?” Butterflies tickled my stomach, my heart swelled in my chest, was she asking me to move in with her? I stood up, forgetting the glass of wine between my legs – I didn’t even notice when it spilled down my pant legs.
“You heard me.” She stood up and pulled me close…
“Move in…here…with you?”
“..and do what, exactly?” It was a dumb question, but I was trying to buy some time. I was still trying to process everything.
“What wives do…”
I laughed, “Well, I’d have to be a wife to do that…”
“Ahhh, we can arrange that,” she said dropping down on one knee. “I was supposed to do this later, but…”
She pulled out a little black box…and looked in my eyes, “Jameka…will you, marry me?” – a question I never thought she’d ask.
As if on cue, Marsha Ambrosious’ “With You” began to play. Instinct took over. We’d been together a little over a year at this point, I knew I loved her and we hadn’t had any problems since that one…incident. I spent most of my days with her and when I didn’t, I wished I had. I kneeled so our faces could meet. Marriage was a huge step, she hadn’t even hinted that she was thinking of such a thing….
“I…I…” My mouth was open, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Don’t say anything…just yet…” Her voice changed and she moved close. I could feel her lips touching my own, “…will you…let me…show you how I feel?”
I responded with a kiss, my hands found their way to her waist. I wanted to pull her into me so she could release all the sexual tension we’d built over the past year…and I wanted to return the favor…but, I didn’t want to seem too eager.
We fell into the pillows and continued our kiss. She ran her hands underneath my shirt and unhooked my bra. I sat up, pulled off my tank and climbed on top of her. I eyed her for a moment, my eyes explaining everything I wanted to say. It must’ve turned her on because she let out a low grown and pulled herself up to meet me. We sat kissing, exploring, our bodies intertwined; I moved my hips to the music.
Jacquees’ Me, U & Hennessey provided a slow sensual beat, so I began a slow wind on top of her. Our eyes connected. She slid my bra strap down my right shoulder…then my left…before kissing up my collarbone and feathering my earlobe with her tongue. My lips began to drool thinking of what she wanted to do to me – and I’m not talking about the ones on my face. I hadn’t had sex in over a year; I was ripe and well past ready.
“Take off your pants…” She demanded with a whisper, her lips tickled my neck. She bit me just enough to make my nipples stand at attention. I didn’t say anything as she turned me on my back and slid my pants past my knees. She trailed her fingers up my leg, each touch sending shock waves through my body.
Her gaze remained trained on me, “don’t look away.” She took her time, smiling each time my body reacted to her teases. “I can take you to orgasm without ever going inside…”she whispered in my ear. Her fingers caressed between my thighs, she could feel my excitement through my panties.
I laughed. “Whatever…”
“Whatever?” She accepted the challenge.
She leaned in and slid her tongue inside my mouth…she sucked…slowly…on my tongue. I felt the thrill of her touch run through my veins. She stroked…I throbbed. She still hadn’t gone …inside.
“Is this too much?” Her voice in my ear, her lips brushed against my lobe, I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“Sidney….” Her name dripped from my tongue, I was drunk with desire.
I pulled her face towards me and we exchanged deep kisses. I pulled her shirt over her head and she removed her sports bra. I filled my mouth with her breast, playfully flicking my tongue over each nipple. She responded in approval. Good, I thought, touch-me-nots can be so boring at times.
“Stop teasing me” I said, we’d played enough games and endured enough teasing. I wanted all of her…and I didn’t want to wait anymore. She ignored me and continued taking her time, her attention focused on my breasts. She took her time tasting my nipples, showing me, in advance, what her tongue could provide if I allowed her to go further.
She moved on, and spent what seemed like an eternity sliding her tongue in and out of my belly button. A unique feeling that rippled through my thighs.“Not yet,” she whispered and kissed further down, focusing her attention on my inner thighs. She kissed and sucked…then sucked… and kissed…my body began to shudder. It felt like an orgasm, but she hadn’t even gotten past my panties …there was no way…
“You’re ready…” I felt myself all over my thighs. The blanket was wet beneath me.
She lifted my legs and I allowed her to slide away my panties. “Don’t stop, Sidney….” I groaned in her ear. She responded by rubbing her index finger in a circular motion. I looked up at the stars…
“What do you want from me….” I whispered, my body still shivering from the pre-gasm. She continued to touch, making my body jerk awkwardly in response. She didn’t seem to mind.
“Just you…” She slid her hand inside my walls, “tell me what you want…”
I wrapped my legs around her and helped ease her fingers inside. Normally, I loved long sessions of foreplay…but our entire relationship had been one long session of foreplay. I raised my hips and welcomed her in. She grabbed a pillow and placed it beneath my butt, allowing her to reach deeper inside. I pushed my pelvis into her and let out an unexpected gasp. She placed one hand on my belly, to keep me steady, as the other continued its seduction.
“Shhhhh…..” she put her fingers to her lips. I stared up at her, her body glistened under the moonlight. Sweat from our passion trickled down her skin. I reached up and rubbed my hands against her six pack. She leaned in and kissed me.
“Do you use….” She didn’t have to say it…
“No…not anymore…I used to…but not now.” Her expression changed.
“…is that an issue?” I asked. When I first came out I used the strap-on because…well, just because. But to be honest, penetration never brought me to orgasm…it’s not the worst thing in the world, but it’s not what gets me off.
“Not at all…” She let out a sexy laugh and thrust her arms once more.
“Sidney…damn…” I dug my nails into her back an asked her to bite me. I liked a little pain with my pleasure. Right before I was about to explode again, she slid out and moved her face between my legs.
I closed my eyes and clutched the blanket as her tongue found its way around. She held me by the waist while she slowly, and meticulously, lapped up all my personal flavor. She sucked…licked…and savored… before turning her attention to the main attraction. Her tongue moved in a circular motion over my clit, and my legs buckle. I tried to push her way, but she grabbed my arms and held them at my side.
“Sidney…” I couldn’t finish my sentence.
I felt her thrust her fingers back inside as she began to French kiss the lips below. Her tongue was warm and refreshing, I squealed from the pleasure. She continued lapping until my body vibrated with ecstasy. She moaned and dug her nails into my thigh as she finished me off. Then she kissed her way back to my lips.
“Damn, I want to make love to you right, now…” My body continued to orgasm. I rubbed my hands over her head.
“What do you mean? Isn’t that what we just did?” We snuggled underneath the small throw. She brushed a piece of nothing from my face before casually replying, “Foreplay”
Foreplay? I laughed, but she didn’t. She was serious.
Damn. If that was just foreplay, I couldn’t wait to see the main event. Private thoughts.
“Sidney….” I grabbed the ring, still inside the box, and slid it on my finger.
Sidney’s eyes lit up, “Does this mean what I think it means?”
I stood and grabbed her hand, motioning for her to follow me inside, “Yes, baby. Now come and make love to your new fiancée.”
Pt. VIII coming soon…