I’m in the awkward position of knowing two families that have failed me.
My mother and my father.
My father and my mother.
Together – created me.
Together – cast me away.
I found them.
….in love, I ran to them.
Visions in my mind prepared me for a triumphant return.
“Welcome home dear daughter….”
How I’ve longed to hear those words.
Instead, I live in deliberate isolation.
No attempts at restoration.
I am painfully – aware of my outcast status.
The eternal bastard. I smile and stuff the pain to a place only I can see.
My mother acknowledges but can’t deal. My father can’t deal so he won’t even acknowledge.
Even though I look just like the both of them.
Black sheep learn early….
We don’t expect much by way of love.
How can they love someone they refuse to see.
I watch them with jealous eyes. Siblings connected.
Yet, I remain detached.
Do you know what it’s like to watch your parents love others when they’ve failed to love you?