It was totally unexpected. She propositioned me with a song, via Facebook secret messenger.
“Desire, where are you when I need you most? Can’t you tell the way I long for you? I think it’s unfairly wrong of you, teasing me like you do, baby….” Raheem Devaughn’s ‘Desire’ crooned through my Apple ear pods.
“Listen to the words and understand how you make me feel” she typed.
I didn’t need to listen. I knew the words; this was one of my favorite songs. Clever move on her part.
“You don’t have to say yes or no, right now. Just… think about it. Ok?”
I inhaled and let out a heavy sigh. This was unexpected – some might call it flattering, if it weren’t for one thing.
I was single, but she wasn’t. I knew that. I knew her wife. They had children – in plural form!
Besides, I wasn’t a homewrecker and I was insulted she’d think I were.
“I know you must be surprised and I’m pretty sure you’re not the type to wreck anyone’s home,”
Ha, so now she’s a mind reader?
“…but I’m not here to cause confusion.” She continued, “I just can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried. I don’t know… what it is.”
The proposition wasn’t the worst, it wasn’t actual sex. She said she wanted to indulge a “fantasy”. We’d never touch one another intimately, I’d just “entertain” her desire by making myself available — but never too available, if you get my drift.
“…I can have a fantasy about you whether you give consent or not. I’m asking for your consent.”
Asking for consent for a fantasy – who does that? This woman was nuts. I knew I should close my computer and walk away, but I was…curious.
“…it’s simple, really. In the beginning, we’ll get to know one another, talk about life, our dreams, our days…share fantasies…the likes.”
Yea right, I thought chuckling out loud.
“…I’ll be loyal and completely devoted…”
How you talking about being “loyal” and “devoted” when you in my inbox with a whole wife? I rolled my eyes…yet, I couldn’t stop reading.
“…I’d like to see you at least once a month, at the Luxe hotel, downtown. I just want to be able to see you…talk with you…touch your skin. Maybe linger a little too close to your lips. We won’t ever have sex. I don’t want to cheat. I just want you…close. I won’t question your personal life or those you entertain. The only stipulation is – you can’t tell anyone. Anything. Ever.”
I tapped my fingers against the keys trying to think up a response. I had nothing.
“I know you must think this is absurd. But I promise I’m not trying to get in your pants. Just your mind…maybe your heart…”
This woman liked to play with temptation and this was dangerous, but…still…
“I’ll be there for you mentally, emotionally…even financially if you need it, I make enough. I just want you in my life. I respect you too much to ask you to be a side piece, this is not that. I want a friend…that I just happen to be wildly attracted too.”
I shifted my weight and bit my bottom lip. I did find her attractive, I just had no idea the feeling was so mutual, or intense.
“…you wrote something once…something like, “wanting something is often better than having the something?”
Oh, she reads my writing. I grinned with delight.
“…well…I want you. But I know that if I have you, physically, it’ll ruin everything. Because it won’t be right and we won’t have anything. I want you in whatever way I can have you in my life without disrespecting you, or my wife. I just need to … I just want you on my team.” She stopped typing.
I entered a response and deleted my words several times.
Part of me wanted to type HELL NO! and walk away, but the seductress in me was aroused. If nothing else, she’d be a nice form of entertainment in my otherwise mundane life.
I wasn’t dealing with anyone serious; and it did feel good to have someone excited about me for once. Plus, she wasn’t exactly talking about cheating. I mean, we could Netflix …at my house, without the chill.
She started to type again,
“…I understand this might be a lot to take in; but, since you haven’t cursed me out and called my wife yet, I suspect I have your attention. And that’s all I needed. I’ll give you some time to think about things.”
She was a cocky masculine woman, but it wasn’t nasty. It was the kind of cocky that made you want to let her have her way with you – because she made you feel “safe”. I bet her wife felt that way…
Her wife…the thought snapped me back into reality and I snarled in disgust. She would be married with children, trying to make me a side piece under the guise of “friendship”. She must think I’m dumb. Let me put an end to this.
“I’sorry, I’m not intersted. I can’t believe you even think I’d be open to somethig like this.” I responded quickly, typos and all.
She responded quickly, “LOL. You’re typing faster than you can think. You don’t mean what you’re saying.”
“You don’t though…”
“Look, leave me alone. Or I will forward this entire conversation to your wife.” I banged my fingers against the keyboard in aggravation.
“You won’t. But ok. Like I said, I’ll give you some time to think.”
I rolled my eyes and signed out of my account. She was right. I wasn’t going to tell her wife, but not because I didn’t want to cause problems. I was still contemplating her proposition.
This was the most excitement I’d had romantically in several months and a part of me wanted to see where this went. Even though I knew nothing good could come of an emotional affair that toyed with temptation.
I shook my head. Nope, this wasn’t me. I was starting to get angry she even bothered me with this. She knew we couldn’t be together and she admitted she’d come after my heart.
What happens if I fall in love, she has a family. What happens with my heart? Na. This was a set up in the worst way. I’m good.
The doorbell startled me out of my thoughts. I wasn’t expecting anyone…and she didn’t know where I lived, did she? I peeked out the curtain, it was a flower delivery. I hate flowers.
“Hello,” I opened the door with a smile.
“Hello ma’am. Flower delivery for Jameka Roberts?”
“Yes, that’s me” I smiled and took the vase of roses, immediately going for the card.
Say yes….and this is only the beginning. – Sid
Nice try. I thought. It’s going to take more than two dozen roses to seduce me, honey.
“Thank you, sir,” I said reaching into the cash draw next to the door for a tip, “You have a nice day”
“Oh, hold on ma’am. This isn’t all.”
“ummm…ok.” Confused, I stepped on the porch and watched the driver make his way to the truck. He returned with two more bouquets, then another two and he kept coming! By the time he finished, I had over thirty different flower arrangements and with cards to match.
I was stunned. As much as I hated flowers, even I could admit this was a beautiful gesture. No one had ever done anything like this for me. I couldn’t stop blushing.
Each card had a message: Words from my favorite poets, music lyrics from my favorite songs, quotes from books I loved. She paid attention and wanted me to know she did.
Smiling, I came across a card marked, “Read Me Last”. Of course, I read it immediately,
I know I can’t seduce you with flowers…but I don’t want to seduce you. I want to adore you. If you change your mind about us, meet me at 4 PM at the Luxe. Room 555. – Sid.
I checked the time, it was 3:05 PM and the hotel was a little over thirty minutes away. I didn’t have much time to decide….
Continue to Part II