There is a difference between a person wanting your help and simply wanting your attention. When a person wants help – they will take the help/advice given and use this to move forward, from the old habits/problems/issues and into a new place in life. The problem or whatever it was that they needed help with has been dealt with and the person can move forward in life able learning from the situation and using it to make wiser choices in the future. They don’t keep having the same problems over and over again – because they are actually taking the “help” and making an effort to change their lives.
Now when someone simply wants attention – they will ask for your “help” but nothing will ever come of it. They’ll be seeking your help and advice for the very same issues in three years as they are today. They don’t want the help – advice – or guidance – they only want the attention that comes with your advice, guidance, assistance. These are the individuals who have the same issues and complaints today as they did one, two, three years ago. The situation never changes – no matter how much you pour into them or try to help them and no matter what, they always seem to find a problem and see the bad. This is a drainer – they have no intention on receiving help, they are getting what they desire – your attention, your time, your energy, your focus – don’t enable them.
God calls us to help one another, but He does not call us to be manipulated and used. Not only does this empower the individual to look to and trust in man for what they need (instead of God), this also can cause you to turn your focus from God, as you become “savior” to the person you’re trying to help. And this is not me talking about any individual, for those who like to read more into things than what’s there, this is something that I have observed and has been on my heart. Many people are complaining about feeling used/taken advantage of by people and though those who do these things are at fault – those who continuously allow themselves to be used in this way, without ever learning from the situations, are also partially at fault. We must learn from these things – so we can recognize them and have wisdom enough to empower them to seek God for what they are missing, instead of man who will never be enough.